We are a married couple who adopted our little Russky, Nikita {aka Nicky, Nicky noodle, little man, Nikoli, the Nickster, crazy dude, goofball, puppy love, etc...you get the picture!} from St Petersburg, Russia four years ago. Join us as we stumble through the joys and perils of parenthood, while our son teaches us a few things along the road...


Life's Little Frustrations

this morning was not unlike any other morning in the johnson house.  kris went to the fire station bright and early, so i was on momma duty.  it began with me sleepily stumbling up the stairs, arousing my little russky with a quick back rub and good morning musings.
"did you sleep well?  have good dreams?  what would you like for breakfast?  get up and go potty and wash your hands.  i'll meet you downstairs."

10 minutes later i'm downstairs, still waiting for nick to finish getting dressed and come down for breakfast.
"nick?  what are you doing?  hurry and come down to eat!"
"okaaayy!  i'm coming!"
"nick?  come on!  your breakfast is getting cold!"

he finally makes it downstairs and sloooooowly puts on his socks and shoes while chattering away to himself, as if reminding himself the steps to follow.  comes to the table...takes his meds {like. a. champ. - i should really start praising him more for that.}, and starts to eat.  i tell him i'm going to get dressed and to hurry and eat because he's going to be late since he spent so much time getting dressed.

15 minutes later i come back out of my room, expecting him to be finished eating, putting his dishes in the sink, and heading to brush his teeth.  nope.  still sitting at the kitchen table.  barely touched his food.  staring into space.  waving his fork around.  humming.

"nick!  what are you doing?!  you haven't even eaten yet?!  well there's no time now!  you're going to be late for school!  let's go!"  {breakfast thrown away}
"okaaayy..." {walks as slowly as possible to bathroom for the brushing of the teeth & hair}
"let's go dude!  walk faster!" {seriously!  is this opposite day?!  does "fast" really mean "slow as possible?!}

i brush his teeth & hair, and send him to put on his coat and grab his backpack as i grab my wallet and jacket.  does nick act with expediency?  nope.  meanders to the coat closet.  gets the items necessary. talks to the dog.  happy go lucky.  not a care in the world.

"nick!  come on! get your coat on!  let's go!"
"okaaayy..." {i swear the kid is eeoyre sometimes!}

i slow my pace.  take a deep breath.  put on my own jacket.  walk to the car.  nick...well...still moving at a snail's pace.  jacket dragging on the floor.  backpack slung {upside down} over one shoulder.

"nick!  hurry up!  get in the car!  move it!"
"okaaayy.  i'm coming."
{and the slower he moves, and the more calm he is, not even caring that my voice has raised, make me even more angry}

several hours minutes later, we're finally heading to school.  with me asking him "do you like being yelled at?  is that what you want?  our mornings to always start out like this?!"  do i really expect him to say "yes mom.  i looove to be yelled at and to make you angry and frustrated first thing in the morning.  i live for it!"

several hours later and i'm still rehashing the morning, as i do every morning that starts this way.  it should bring me some comfort that my ever-patient, laid-back, easy-going husband becomes just as frustrated at this morning routine.  but - it just makes me sad!  i know he really, truly can't help his daydreaming, and his lack of enthusiasm for being awake so early, however, some mornings i really find myself counting the seconds until his ADHD meds kick in!  they make such a difference, and even his teachers at school tell us that the mornings are especially rough and they can definitely tell the "aha" moment when they finally take hold of his wandering brain.

so what do i do?  wake him up an hour earlier and deprive us both of much needed sleep?  wake myself up earlier and down two cups of coffee immediately so i'm a little more bearable?  i wish the answer to all this could be as simple as "just slow down and enjoy this time with him...", which is great for the weekends when we have nothing going on, but during the week, i can't do that or he'll always be tardy for school!  {soo not a morning person to start with!}  i don't know the right answer, but what i do know is that we can't go on this way with the constant prodding for the next step in the morning routine...

the "get dressed...get your pants on!...get your socks on...ok...now put your shoes on...eat...take another bite...put your dishes away...dude...just put the dishes in the sink stop looking at the sink...brush your teeth...ok you're done now...wash your face...ok i'm sure your face is clean now...dry your face and hands now...dude...dry your face!...etc, etc, etc..."

all that's gotta stop.  it's driving us parents nuts & apparently he's so used to us yelling at him, that it doesn't even phase him anymore!  why can't parenting come with a magic guide book, with steps that actually work on every child?  i love that he's an individual...but... well... i guess that's really it... BUT... cuz what else is there to say?  we're at a loss... :(  any advice from the peanut gallery out there?

xoxo...liese :o)

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