Cold Outside?

The day we met Nicky (July 3, 2008), it was a sunny 77 degrees outside, and he was wearing a long-sleeve undershirt with a long-sleeve t-shirt over it; long-john pants with corduroy pants over them; thick socks and (what looked like little girl's) buckle shoes. All the other kids at the orphanage were wearing the same, with the added bonus of a jacket and hat combo. Somehow we managed to get him outside without the bonus garments.

It's no wonder that we've now been home 7 months and as we ventured out this past (beautiful) Saturday, Nicky felt a breeze and asked me "cold outside momma?" It continues to surprise me at how many things have had such an impact on our little guy. You wouldn't think that being in an orphanage for a mere 2 1/2 years would have had such a lasting effect, but I suppose I take for granted the importance of the early formative years. He constantly wants to wear a jacket when we go outside (even when it's 80+ degrees) and has the need to wear a hat if we're going out to play (just a ball cap type). When we came home last September, there were still plenty of days to enjoy wearing shorts, as the temps in Texas are quite high that time of year. It took Nicky quite some time to get used to wearing said shorts, and still balks at the idea to this day. He tries to pull them down longer to cover more of his legs, and continually asks me/Kris "no pants?" or "no socks?" (if wearing sandal-type shoes). It's such a foreign concept to him that his little brain just can't conceptualize the change in "costume" as the weather changes. Even if Kris and I are wearing shorts/short-sleeves, and try to coax Nicky into it, he still gets upset and insists on being hot. And that's the case - he is a little heat box! He's constantly warm & sweats like a banshee, but refuses to do anything to make himself more comfortable. It's as if keeping with the same behavior (in this case wearing the layers of clothes) is exactly what makes him comfortable. These are only a few of the OCD tendencies he has; he doesn't like a lot of change and definitely knows when things are done a different way. There have been so many times he's called us out on things, some quite funny (like in the AM when I put him at the table with his cereal & tell him "I'll be right back", he knows I'm going to have my "morning constitutional", for which he tells me I get 2 treats!). However, the sad thing is, he's such a creature of habit, that it can be quite debilitating to him and his nature (tantrums can ensue if he doesn't have things his way).

I really don't know where I'm going with this post, except maybe to say that I'm often saddened by the thought that we have given him (what we consider!) a good home and a "better life", and yet he's still so afflicted by random things such as these. I just wonder how our story will unfold and what new peccadillo's our journey will bring. And most importantly, (I hope) that we're doing the right things by him as parents! I suppose all new parents (no matter the child's age) wonder this at times - "am I gonna break him?" "am I feeding him the right things?" "am I a bad parent?" "are we being too hard/soft on him?". Too bad each child doesn't come with a manual! :)