Gotcha Day

OMG! It's already been one full year since Kris and I walked into Baby Home #1 in St Petersburg, Russia as a duo, and walked out with Nicky as a trio! We have done so much in this past year, I'm at a loss of words trying to think of what to say first. Last year when we thought about "gotcha day" we initially thought we would do something really fun with Nicky to commemorate the special day, and would then carry on the tradition for years to come. Well, if this year is any indication as to how the following years will be spent, then I think we might start celebrating the momentous occasion on a different day. Kris is on a boy's trip - that makes #2 for the year - for the ever-so-important Fantasy Football League Draft. As if it takes an entire weekend to choose a few players that will only be discarded in a week or so anyway! This is totally not what I wanted to talk about in this post, but, I'm not the biggest fan of football and I am even less a fan of being a "football widow". But, I do suck it up because it is Kris' only real "hobby", his team typically dominates, and his group of friends play for the big bucks. And when I say big bucks, I mean we've gotten two pretty nice tv's out of the deal as well as a trip to San Francisco...so it's not all bad! Back to gotcha day...Nicky has come so far from the quiet boy who would sit and stare with us and couldn't do anything without our prompting. Living in the orphanage gave him no freedom to just be a kid. While we were there visiting him, it was eerily quiet - except for the sound of a baby crying somewhere inside the building with no one bothering to soothe him or her. We heard more sounds of children at play on the playground for the apartment buildings next to the orphanage...really sad! The other children in Nicky's "gruppa" were scolded for running or playing in an otherwise normal way when outside. Nicky is still learning how to jump to this day. He's pretty well got the hopping part down, but he's still a bit wonky and tends to fall when doing so. I guess what I'm trying to say is that the longer a child is in a stifled environment, the more toll it takes on their personality, behaviors, thinking process, etc. I'd like to think we were pretty well educated as far as what to expect. I did a lot of research; read about all the possibilities of what we could encounter. But until we brought him home, and saw his quirkiness and odd behaviors on a daily basis, we weren't able to really understand what was going on with him. We've since found out that he has what some call Sensory Processing Disorder. I won't drone on about all his symptoms, but I will say this - some schools of thought don't recognize this as an actual "disorder". And although I don't believe fully that his body is "seeking" certain textures and he won't be able to focus on the task at hand unless he is wearing a "weighted vest" or the like, I do believe that by him not experiencing the same things that a typical baby would by having his parents around and tending to his needs, he's missed out on a lot and he doesn't know how to respond in many situations in every day life and he doesn't have the proper coping skills that most children learn. He's immature for his age, he doesn't understand cause and effect, and he doesn't have proper behavior management skills. So - we take him to Occupational Therapy and they work with his fine and gross motor skills - he just thinks he's there to play and color; doesn't see it as work at all thankfully! Hopefully by improving upon these skill areas, he will be less frustrated with minor tasks and will be able to do more on his own without having a complete meltdown! After OT, he has an hour of Speech Therapy to help with his articulation (he's in the 11th percentile and scores less than a 2 year old). He also attends an Early Childhood in our local school district 3 days a week for Communication classes - to help add new words to his vocabulary. He's a busy little guy...we have a spreadsheet to keep track of where he is and when!

Kris and I have definitely grown a lot during this process. We're both a bit more patient, although we still have our occasional grown-up tantrums! We're also a lot less selfish - there's no "I" in parenthood!!! Most of all, we've grown as a family. Nicky knows we're here for him and we're not going to leave him. This time last year Nicky was my biggest shadow - it was like a train around the house everywhere I went...me, Blitzer & Nicky fighting over who would be right behind me, and Bailey bringing up the rear as my caboose. I had to announce my every move, for fear the dreaded meltdown would make an appearance. Now Nicky has his own playroom, tv and all, and he will play in there, all alone, undisturbed, for up to an hour! Kris and I would like to thank you all for your love and support over this past year. It's been the biggest challenge either one of us have ever experienced. We wouldn't have made it through without having you all act as a sounding board, and your wealth of parenting knowledge! 1 year down...infinite fun to go!