Spitting the Dummy

The tantrums are out in full-force in the Johnson household. Oh my goodness are they C-R-A-Z-Y, crazy! Apparently we're not alone...I found an thread on google called "My 3 1/2 year old is trying to put me in an early grave"...I feel that pain! So, here we are at 3 1/2, and oy vey, is he spitting the dummy! (I stumbled upon that phrase and thought it was pretty funny...much better than the average American phrase: "temper tantrum".) Pretty much anything Nicky can balk at, he does: going to bed; brushing his teeth; getting dressed/undressed; leaving the house in a timely manner; getting into his carseat; following directions; going potty...even when he definitely has to go; washing his hands; getting out of bed; cleaning up his toys. Um...yeah...pretty much everything in our daily routine can lead to a knock-down, drag-out, kicking and screaming, throwing of toys/books/whatever's in the hand, full-on outburst! Here's a picture of one of his new habits while throwing such a fit...

Not sure why, but he's taken to burying himself under things - the front door mat; rug in his room; and as in the picture above, Blitzer's bed! He's also a big fan of the "trantrun" - the act of performing a hissy fit while on the go..these are quite comical, and tend to send me into fits of laughter, which helps to calm Nicky - or at least it stops the tantrun momentarily.

Kris and I are taking a parenting class at Nicky's school, based on the Love and Logic method. It's pretty interesting, and seems a bit ridiculous at times, but...it works! The premise is to give empathy first, then hand over a consequence for the negative behavior. It also stresses the importance of giving the child choices: "would you like chicken or chicken?". Ok - so that one sounds pretty silly, but if you ask Nicky what he wants for dinner, his response is almost always "chicken"! So, I show him two types of chicken (grilled and nuggets) and let him choose. We also say "would you like to do x now, or in one minute?", to which Nicky replies "one minute". Ok, one minute it is...and magically, one minute later, he complies! Who knew?! There's also no issuing of warnings with this approach - he knows the rules of the house, and will say them at will, so if he's not obeying them, action should be taken immediately (redirection or consequence). I'm surprised that just following these few steps, has actually changed his reaction to things. The key to all this is to reign in the sarcasm (apparently children can pick up on this), and to remain calm - easy as pie...yeah, right. Keep your fingers crossed for us folks! I've said it before...and I'll say it again...Serenity Now!