"Momma/Daddy Happy?"

When we first looked into adopting a child from an orphanage setting I did a lot of reading about how living in these types of settings could effect children emotionally. Of course, the shorter the time frame the better, but unfortunately, neglect is neglect, no matter how long the duration. One of the things I kept coming across dealt with empathy and bonding/attachment. There are many books out there which discuss these issues, and the sad truth is that a child doesn't have to come from an institutionalized background to present difficulties in these areas (but that's another story). What we are surprised to see from Nicky is that even in the midst of a complete melt-down tantrum, if either Kris or myself happen to smack our elbow on the doorjamb or hit our arm on the couch, Nicky will stop and ask us if we are ok. He'll ask "Momma/Daddy owie?" or "Nikita kiss it?" and afterwards will make sure it's "better?". It is also very important to him that Momma and Daddy are "happy" and he will ask us this at random throughout our days together. He'll tell us he is happy too, and then give us big hugs and smatter us with kisses. Sometimes it makes me sad though, because I really wonder what he's thinking - is he wondering if he's doing enough to please us? Or is he simply letting us know that he is truly happy in his new life? I like to tell myself it is more of the latter! And - I'm so very thankful that somehow, with all the adversity he's been through in his short life, he's managed to form a bond with both Momma and Daddy and he does have the ability to show empathy...we must be doing something right!