Captain Obvious

"momma.  bwitzers eating his dinner."

"momma.  bwitzers drinking his water.  don't drink it all bwitzer.  save some for breakfast."

"momma.  bwitzers sitting by me."

"momma. bwitzers playing with a toy."

"momma.  bwitzers looking at me."

"momma.  i'm putting my bwanket on."

"momma.  bwitzers laying on da fwoor."

"momma.  i'm pettin bwitzer."

"momma.  i give bwitzer a kiss."

"momma.  i watchin tv."

"momma.  i got my tiger."

"momma.  bwitzer is walking away."

thanks.  thanks, son.  thank you for the play-by-play since apparently my eyes are broken.

ps...i'm changing my name.