We are a married couple who adopted our little Russky, Nikita {aka Nicky, Nicky noodle, little man, Nikoli, the Nickster, crazy dude, goofball, puppy love, etc...you get the picture!} from St Petersburg, Russia four years ago. Join us as we stumble through the joys and perils of parenthood, while our son teaches us a few things along the road...


Mr Independent

"no!  i do it!!!" 

This is the most famous phrase now heard in the Johnson household.  It doesn't matter what it is - or how difficult the task may be, Nicky wants to at least try to do it for himself.  It's such a departure from the little dude that wouldn't even try to do anything without having a complete melt-down that we are beside ourselves!  We waited for this moment so long, yet there are times where we are like "No let me do it - you're taking too long!"  I know the whole point of this age is to become more independent, but man, kids have no sense of expediency!  For example, I know I need to let him put on his own seatbelt when he is insistent upon doing so, but when we're running late in the morning, and he's struggling for 5 minutes to do it him self, man that 5 minutes seems like an eternity!

Of course, then there's the flip-side.  You think that he's wanting to do all this stuff by himself, so you're allowing him to do so, and you're, I don't know, let's say cooking dinner.  So, you're busy right?  Well, of course that's precisely the time that he doesn't want to do anything by himself.  He wants your attention...and he's gonna pull all the stops to get it!  Of course, there's no reasoning with them or trying to say "well - you did xxx by yourself a minute ago...do it again now."  That really gets you nowhere but more frustrated, so you might as well just give in and give him what he wants when he asks and you'll save yourself some time!

Now - the biggest challenge is knowing when to help and when not to help.  Trust me - he'll let you know, but only after you've done the opposite.  Parents can never win! 


I suppose like every other stage, we'll manage to somehow figure things out.  And, in order for him to learn to be more independent, we have to let him be more, well, independent!  I just need to learn to praise every little baby step forward he makes without getting frustrated at the milk/juice/cereal/food/etc he's made a mess of in the process!

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