This is how my evening with Nicky began last night. I was in a great mood after work, walked into his preschool classroom, (they were all getting ready to join another group and when I saw him) and I gave him a big hug. He proceeded to get his "baby" and as we walked to the door, his teacher says "Um, Nicky has an incident report today." My first thought was "Oh no! He fell down? He got bit? He's hurt in some way?". Nope. Quite the opposite. Instead, I'm told that my sweet little Russky is a bully!
We talked for a few minutes and I asked if he was the only one in the class acting like Rocky Balboa (pic from worstpreviews.com), and she conceded that a few of the boys he plays with are a little defiant and rough. Not that I'm that parent that takes the child's side and doesn't listen to the teacher, but I wanted to know if he was the lone wolf. Thing is, he never hit his friends until he started playing with these other boys and we've never had any notes come home mentioning these actions from his other school, so it kinda made me wonder.
We also talked about the fact that Nicky has had several days where he is disruptive during circle time and lunch...but he's super-sweet (doesn't really make it all better)! She told me that he has a hard time paying attention and will try to get the other kids to join in with his tomfoolery. Keep in mind, he's only been in this class (Pre-K 1) for a few weeks, and we're already getting this news. Another thing of note, Nicky's only at his preschool for circle time 2 days out of each week...therefore the ratio of paying attention to not so much, is well, not so good! I also find it interesting that we get quite the opposite report from his other school. All we hear from that teacher is that he's learning so much and acts like an angel. Hmm.
So, where do we go from here? Well, I certainly do not have any ill-will towards his new school - we really like it and Nicky has really blossomed there (hitting, biting and all). I told his teacher how much I appreciated her honesty and that we are the type of parents that welcomes feedback - good or bad. I gave her a little bit of info about Nicky's background for a some insight. She told me that when they are working with him one-on-one he does great and that they are really trying to help him with his fine motor skills (to get him caught up with the other kids his age). I asked her to please keep us as informed, as much as possible, and that we would strive to work together for the good of Nicky. My next step - contact the teacher from his other school...surely there has to be some common thread, right? Or is it simply attention-seeking behavior because it's a large class at the preschool? Too bad Nicky can't just tell us!
As I talked to Nicky about the hitting last night, I told him it hurts his friends and that it's not nice. I tried to explain to him that his friends won't want to play with him anymore if he is mean to them. We talked about keeping our hands to ourselves, and, that the teachers are very sad with his behavior. He then said, "kyler hit me on head.", as if that gave him the right to hit 4 friends without provocation! I told him the next time anyone hits him, he needs to tell the teacher instead of hitting back. We'll see how it goes from here...we've had biting, now hitting...what's next pinching? Scratching? Pulling hair? Goodness!