Bon Voyage

 

My dining room is currently overflowing with bags of Nicky's clothes, books, toys, old bedding, and other random items to be donated to a local charity.  I could just as easily sell a lot of the items on Craig's List, as most of them you can barely tell they've been played with/worn.  Many of the once treasured toys were gifts, as were the worn with love clothes, and I just don't feel right about profiting from something I didn't pay for in the first place.  Not to mention, after receiving so much loot for his birthday, we want to instill in Nicky a sense of giving to others since we have more than plenty for ourselves.  

As I was clearing out Nicky's closet the other evening, I began to get choked up and I realized that it was because most of the clothes were the ones that Nicky wore shortly after we brought him home from Russia.  Then as I went through his toys, I began to feel the same way.  I randomly rotate his toys, so the ones we're donating haven't been played with since just after Christmas, but knowing that they will now no longer be in the house at all is a whole different story!  What is it about tangible items that give us such comfort?  It makes me think about that show Hoarding: Buried Alive.  I've always been a get-rid-of-it-if-you're-not-using-it-anymore gal.  After having a child though, I can now see how people get into that kind of situation.  I don't want to get rid of anything! 

The pirate ship and airplane in the picture above were once Nicky's coveted toys.  When he first joined our family, he didn't really know how to play.  You'd think that would be something instinctual for a child, but not for kids from an orphanage situation.  He would sit on the couch with one of those toys sitting by him and he would just stare at the tv, pushing the random button on each toy to make them make noises.  Looking at the toys now reminds me of how far we've come.  Something about having them here in the house gives me a sense of security; as if knowing they're here will give me the confidence I need as a mother. 

I suppose it's a good thing I hate clutter because our dining room is a mess...and no way would I be able to let it spill into another room.  I know that holding a toy in my hand will not make everything better in the world.  I know that we will have set-backs, which will hopefully be balanced by strides forward.  Clothes and toys will come and go over the years.  The memories we are creating as a family will last a life-time and I would't donate those for anything.